Kadwa chauth

'Karva chauth' is a festival which really really gets my goat. I mean why, why in this day and age does it still remain the 'done thing' for millions of women - including the younger generation - in north India?

In India and Nepal, Hindu married women observe a fast on Krishna Chaturthi of Kartik (October-November) . The only aim of this fast is to save the husband from an untimely death and have a long married life.

After taking bath in the early morning, before sunrise, women should undertake a vow for welfare of the husband, sons and grandsons. Shiv, Parvati, Kartikeya, Ganesh and the moon (Chandrama) are worshipped. The fast is broken only after seeing the moon.

The origins of this festival are murky. One story that is always related on this day...A lady called Veeravati broke her fast and her husband died. She preserved the body of her husband and he came back to life the next Karva Chauth. It is believed that a Pati-Vrata woman has the power to confront the God of Death, Yama.

I would have thought that modern young women would gradually lose interest in a festival with such retro contours:

The fast is a rigorous one as the wife does not even drink water on this day. In the evening, all married women, dressed in gorgeous wedding garments and jewelery, undertake worship. As the moon rises, they bow down at the feet of their husbands and give the decorated plate with fruit and other material to their mother in law. This festival deepens the relation between the wife, the husband and the mother in law.

However, interest in the festival has in fact increased.

Bollywood has had several poignant 'karva chauth' sequences (remember Shahrukh and Kajol in DDLJ) and of course beauty parlours and other commerical estabishments have jumped into the fray offering 'full day packages' to keep hungry-thirsty women occupied till moonrise. Especially so in the very dekho-ji-maine-kitne-paise-kharch-kiye culture of Delhi.

Life in the 'fast' lane
Actually I would categorise karva chauth fastees into 3 categories:
a) Sab karte hain: Everyone's doing it, so you do too. This applies especially to those women who live in joint families.

Some of course actually enjoy all the shringar, sacrifice and saas-saheli bonding. Others play along, knowing that resistance is futile in the face of biraadari and expectant mother-in-laws. !

Aur kuch nahin to kuch maal to milega :)

b) 'What if...': This lot is not very keen on the fast but keeps it anyways thinking of it like an annual insurance policy. Just in case something terrible does happen, there can never be any fingers pointed at her for not even keeping 'karva chauth'.

c) 'So romantic'!: Lastly, there is this new breed of women who don't actually believe in pati-parmeshwar but think it's a very cute and romantic thing to do. Many expect the husband - in SRK-DDLJ style - to also deprive himself ("Dear, at least keep a fruit juice fast", they might kindly offer).

This lot expects the fast to be broken over a romantic dinner and/or a special gift. Engaged and 'newly married' types are usually to be found in this category - as u might well expect!

In the 'slow' lane
Kadwa chauth and all other vraths or fast in India or abroad in Hindu or other religions are generally based on pure science related to human health. Neither do people try to decode the facts related to these vraths nor try to understand the value of vraths.

Most of the people accept vraths as ritual and tradition; they observe them according to their belief and leave it without exploring the real facts behind it.

If one wants to find out the truth one will have to experiment with vraths. One must have to keep fast with rational scientific temper.

Keep any fast according to the belief, follow the rituals according to the tradition and find out the results. Without any observation and experiment any one can criticize other's belief and call it misbelieve or superstitions. But when one does this practice of vrath with rational scientific temper it will change completely.

Here I will slightly modify a quote to expose the sexism within it...I think all this fuss about men working at a job is really foolish. It is ridiculous that men even today follow such biased traditions. Why isn't there any tradition of wives supporting their husbands by going out to work for long hours? Why is it that if a woman has a job she is 'so independent' and if a man does he is just normal?

I think all this fuss about KarwaChauth is really foolish. Why isn't there any tradition of husbands fasting for long lives of their wives? Why is it that if a woman fasts she is 'just observing a tradition' and if a man does he is being very loving? Why is it that a woman has to bother about her husbands life and a husband never bothers about his wife's? Isn't marraige a relationship in which both sides gain? So why is the burden of ensuring long life of their spouses on women and men never even dream of it?

Now there is another myth to this extravaganza. The origin of this festival was based on a very sweet and noble idea. Though this idea has lost its true sense as today the whole outlook of this festival has changed. Long time back, girls used to get married at a very early stage, and had to go and live with their in-laws in other villages. If she had any problems with her husband or in-laws, she would have no one to talk to or seek support from. Her own parents and relatives would be quite far and unreachable. There used to be no telephones, buses and trains. Thus the custom started that, at the time of marriage, when bride would reach her in-laws, she would befriend another woman there, who would be her friend or sister for life. It would be like god-friends or god-sisters. Their friendship would be sanctified through a small Hindu ceremony right during the marriage.

Once the bride and this woman had become god-friends or god-sisters, they would remain so all their lives and recognize the relation as such. They would also treat each other like real sisters. During any difficulties later in life, involving even the husband or in-laws, these women would be able to confidently talk or seek help from each other. Thus Karva Chauth started as a festival to celebrate this friendship (relationship) between the once-brides and their god-friends (god-sisters). Praying and fasting for the sake of husband came later and was secondary. It was probably added, along with other mythical tales, to enhance the festival. In any case, husband would always be associated with this festival, because the day of starting this holy friendship between two god-sisters was essentially the day of bride's marriage to him.

Thus praying and fasting for him by his wife during a celebration of her relationship with the god-friend would be quite logical.Thus, originally Karva Chauth is once a year festival to renew and celebrate the relationship between god-friends (god-sisters). It had a tremendous social and cultural significance once when the world lacked the ways to communicate and move around easily. " Neat little categories of people banged into neat little pigeon holes !! And after having done that, the dainty little manouever at the end, "to each her own".

Did you consider the possibility that it may be possible for a girl brought up in the Indian tradition to actually want to fast (not starve, there's a difference you know) on Karwa Chauth ? Many festivals are just a way of expression. Otherwise 'Diwali' by any means releases the lion's share of pollutants which in no way is 'do-good-to-society' types. It's only about preservering what we believe, and for the same reason we tend to observe them in all austerity or tradition or by any other word in that place. It's an ocassion to celebrate. I still believe these things are not the index of portrayal of women as devoted to husbands or something.

The retro-traditions popularised by Bollywood & Indian TV (think saas-bahu serials) are doing a lot of harm, to the extent that even unmarried (although engaged) girls keep these fasts.

In fact, I was schocked to see even an ad for Chevy Optra focussed on this ritual of Karva chauth! In this age of ultra modern urban women, I am more shocked to hear it is still being observed! Most indian customs have a lot of meaning attached to them . Somehow not everybody has a deep knowledge of the customs and traditions. They just see the surface and criticise them.

I look at it as an interesting sociological study..You won't believe how many women look at it from the romantic and traditional angle.. and feel they're actually doing something they were meant to. If this is feminism then this is how it should be. In fact the question here is much broader than feminism: Why do Indians stick to silly notions which do not have a basis or have lost all basis. Tradition and 'cultural heritage' are all good as long as nobody forces it on me.

Its true that otherwise smart people can be stupid when it comes to following the 'stupidities of our medivial ancestors'. There are hundreds of such baseless traditions that are followed. Most are harmless if not taken seriously and played along for fun. It however turns dangerous when people become serious about such observances and don't even mind harming human relationships on the grounds of tradition. Some people need constant reminding that we have gone a long way ahead in terms of scientific understanding of how the Universe works.

In Maharashtra the Vata Paurnima and Hartalika is done on the same lines.

I think fasts are good from a health stand point, if done wisely. Fat women can lose some weight that way. People eat the wrong food and too much of it nowadays anyway. Infact, that's really the reason fasts were introduced in the first place. Its doesn't matter whether the fast is to please a God or for the good health and well-being of a husband. Those are simply excuses to get the common people to fast and to regulate the digestive system.

I don't see how shunning culture and traditions makes someone a *modern*, let alone a practical feminist. I just call that a rebel without a cause (and I mean no offense here).  Well! practically seeing it may seem questionable and may be a futile effort for some but just imagine like this keeping the fast is actually a sweet romantic thing u r doing for ur husband. I mean its just like any other special day when u want to please ur love and wait for him for a special dinner.

It is the way we've been brought up at our schools. We just tend to learn Calculus in Maths, but we do not learn how to use it. Did you ever know that manufacturing a small tin can that hold 500 gms of garbanzo beans, uses calculus to calculate the diameter? Not many of us do. And the reason is we are so used this mugging up stuff at school that we have completely lost the creativity to think. Why to blame women who follow customs without thinking, when they have never been made to think. As for the religious aspect of it, there must be a good reason, and I wouldn't comment on this issue without a proper knowledge of the scriptures. The Chopra's or the Johar's were *not* the one who started this tradition?  The movies and now the television soaps have ensured that this tradition is still on. It has a story behind it and lends a good flavor to a typical desi plot.

Personally I agree that practicality should rule - let each one decide if it is kadwa ya mitha for oneself. If the tradition had something to do with both men and women starving for each other, then it would be different. People may do it for romantic reasons - but it is still the EXPECTED thing to do. The subtext for a majority of married north Indian women is that it makes them GOOD wives. If a man does it - he's being GOD. :)

Why do we romanticize the notion of being cornered by tradition. It's one thing to fast for the spouse's health - it's quite another to be forced to do it and judged on the basis of that. In fact  it was only the gujju's who don't *do* anything for their husbands. Practicality is great. And it sucks that some women make a nautanki off the karwa chauth, but I think for women who have faith in it and sincerely keep the fast : I think it's beautiful.

--everybody is doing it so lets do it.
--its romantic.
--this is what they do in movies.
--another reason for a get together (kitty party of sorts).
-- Cool Mehendi sessions.
-- another reason to wear that heavy saari and jewellery.
-- pampering from husband (in some cases).
-- something different in the routine life.
BENEFITS ARE MORE THAN THE SACRIFICE.

New tamasha to the whole thing is that the husbands too keep themselves starved cause their wives are sacrificing so much for them , but this is restricted to newly or recently married couples category........of course husbands become much wiser as the years progress.

For heavens sake moon is just a satellite to earth ... it will not come to save your husband nor it has any powers to do the same. Imagine, someone going through all that for you. now, that's pressure. and feminism? The less said about it the better. Here is adding another perspective. In an increasingly busy life the Karwa chuath is one of the few occassions for the married to get together and spend some time for just each other. They can just reiterate their commitment to each other. I guess A more sedate version of your "Romantic Reason". Or lets say our own desi version of Valentine's day. 

Over a period of time (read in a more captalistic society) fasts themselves might change meanings & modes. Some of these changes are already visible when we find those fasting devouring the most exotic delicacies made specially for fasters. How about restaurants offering an exclusive "Karva Chauth" evening in a strongly traditional ambience with a early sixties movie thrown in along with a kaurva chauth dinner. Special packages for 10+ couples....

After reading all this I'm sure the word that comes to most readers minds will be: 'feminist'. But you know what, there are more of practical feminists than crusading ones. They pick and choose their own battles.

Bottomline: Each to her own, of course. Some find it a sweet tradition - but for some it leaves more of a kadwa aftertaste.

Here's hoping the moon does peep out on time - for those who feel otherwise!