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Monday, November 1, 2010

Neal n Nikki

Nikki Bakshi
Sweet n sexy
Full on rocking
Hot n happening


The evolved junta went ugh!  This was the tune which ruled the airwaves in 2005. It was a Yashraj film and you know how hard their Promo Machine works.

Yup, those were the rather cheesy lyrics from the catchy title track of their release - 'Neal n Nikki'. A film, which, like Salaam Namaste seeked to redefine what being 'young and Indian' was all about. But from a continent away.

So while Salaam Namaste was set in Australia, this one got Canada as the backdrop. And judging, it was DDLJ in reverse.

Synopsis: Neal (Uday Chopra) gives into his parents’ wishes of marrying a girl called Sweetie from Bhatinda, but has just one pre condition to getting married. He wants to live it up one last time and wants to go to Vancouver on a 21 day bachelor vacation.

So the poor dear is let off for one last, long roll in the hay...

Neal gets lucky on his first day out in Vancouver and is asked out by a hot super model. A silly, spunky Indian girl screws up the date. The girl? Nikki Bakshi (Tanisha Mukerjee)!! But this is only the first of many chance encounters, where Nikki – mostly by accident – ensures that Neal never, ever gets lucky!!

Whatever Neal does, Nikki un does. Call it luck, call it fate, call it anything. Bit by bit, Neal’s bachelor vacation starts falling apart – whether he is going skinny dipping with a girl, or enjoying a romp in the back seat of a car. Nikki turns up everywhere to spoil things for poor, poor Neal!!


So far, so good. Now comes the really 'cool and modern' bit.

A truce is called between the two, when Nikki decides to help Neal get some serious action. She tells him she can get him laid and takes him to “babe heaven” – Whistler!!

Did it work?
Most likely, yes. Neal was living out every Young Brown Male's fantasy. Getting 'lucky' with a hot white chick on the day he arrives in Vancouver, for example. It's what every nerd who steps out of the airport is secretly hoping!

As for Nikki, she represents the "I can be naughty, but I'm basically nice" face of the young Indian woman.

I know, the film's tag line was "Nice is out, naughty is in" but it was sure they would not have showed Nikki "going skinny dipping with a boy, or enjoying a romp in the back seat of a car". Trust me on that.

The special feature of the Yashraj 'trendy' films factory is somehow, they get the styling just right. And I don't mean just the clothes. They do push the envelope, but not so much that it tears.

I mean in the end of Salaam Namaste, Preity isn't just left holding a baby she conceived while in a live-in relationship. The couple does marry.

Secondly, Yashraj is definitely formula but they always add some interesting touches. In 'Salaam Namaste' for example, the Jaaved Jaffrey character was quite a riot. Like 'Kaantaben' was, in Kal Ho Na Ho.

Thirdly, Aditya Chopra was definitely the Invisible Hand orchestrating it all. Arjun Sablok was credited with story, screenplay and direction. Which was bad news - given his earlier, excruciating 'Na tum jaano na hum'!

But, if Yashraj decided to film it, you could be sure the kinks and chinks would have been ironed out. The same happened with Kunal Kohli, after all. After a disastrous Mujhse Dosti Karoge he managed a Hum Tum.

I thought the film was a poor rip-off of When Harry met Sally but most of India went gaga over it! Of course, Saif as the leading man (and Rani to an extent) also added charm to Hum Tum.

Did the two relatively lightweight stars like Uday Chopra and Tanisha manage to work the same magic? Well, at least Uday worked hard on his 'look'. Pehle se toh accha lag raha tha. Tanisha lost oodles of weight (a little too much I think!) but seemed to suit the role.

But hey, one more chi-chi youth film with Preity/ Rani/ Saif in the lead would have been hard to swallow. It's been-there-done-that, we were-bored-what-next.

Having lesser known stars can be a blessing in disguise. The producers simply have to pay more attention to the story and dialogue.

They know that if the film's an entertainer, the word-of-mouth from the first weekend crowd will bring in enough audiences in the days to follow!

Bollywood goes corporate
Yashraj managed to 'scale up' and corporatise. Cranking out more and more content for an entertainment-hungry India.

And when one has to churn out 2-3 'products' a year, originality is what takes a hit. The designer youth films of the Chopras are invariably 'inspired' by phoren ones.

Of course, being far smarter than the Bhatts, Yashraj never copies scene by scene.

Wonder Neal n Nikki ka idea kahaan se uthaya tha. I don't quite understand the dilienation between what is appropriate for Indians in India and Indians living abroad. It is nothing but a load of crap and women are willing to go all the way for a small slice of the pie.

Tanisha.. the baby voice gave stiff competition to the screaming done by Preity in Salaam Namaste.

Uday chopra. well coordinated colours- eyeballs, lipstick n clothes. Not bad.

No script. Horrible music. No signs of any performance by the "actors".

And yes. Soft porn. An attempt.

Kudos Mr Aditya Chopra, the Yashraj banner sure deserved a better association.

That's what the movie had in store for its viewers.

I was rolling my eyes throughout the synopsis of the plot. I mean how much more idiotic can you get. OK, so we have had our fair share of clueless valley girls and dumb jocks, but this definitely wasn't the story of the average Indo-Canadian. Not every guy over here wants to get laid before marrying Sweetie in Bhatinda. They do want to get laid - but that's guys in general, right. And not all Indo-Canadian women are hoochie mamas. Some women dress down for the clubs, but it's too damn cold there to be cavorting around in slutty mini-skirts and cleavage-baring tanks 24/7.

And no, not everyone is living up the great Canadian dream of driving rented beamers. There are loads and loads of qualified doctors driving cabs though...So, I guess it's time for more suspension of disbelief.
I think this was the first movie with Mr. Chopra as the sole male protagonist.

Now (was every despo all eyes ?), the centre of discussion was the inclusion of 21 smooches in the movie. And hence the saga of publicity had begun. This is why I didn't really have a rosy picture of this movie's prospects at the B.O.

If every movie was 'Dil Chahta Hai', it would again be a formula. It's like that dialogue in The Incredibles - Everybody will be super, which means no one will be.

 DCH (apparently one of the male leads, I fail to remember, had so much respect for the movie that he did not want the movie to be known as the acronym -DCH), was definitely something that stood aloof. I loved every part of the movie with 3 people reflecting distinct mentalities and the portrayal was also lovable.
LOL! I'd love to join in the nuking exercise but anyways.

What generations X-Y-Z want!
Aha!!! This my dear friends was what being young was all about....so said our very enterprising Bollywood film makers....I mean what the hell??? A loser actor and an equally sad actress need to kick off their careers...so what do they do??? Of course...go to the Chopras..they have a formula for everything....do Indian minds need anything more complicated??? " But whether you like it or not, Yashraj films are an inescapable part of India".....

A break here!! Remember the song - I am THE Neal?? Gosh this is like Hansa in Instant Khichdi..."i am the Hansa and he is the Praful" only on that serial they are supposed to be silly and not cool... Dont know how many people in their right frame of minds would have wanted to watch a film like this... The film reeks of pretentious nonsense decked up for the greenback.

But then Yashraj creates these 3 hour travesties with the NRI audience in mind and that the Indian box office collections are regarded as pocket change? The recent spate of Yashraj 'youth' films have been successful at the box office. Acknowledging /analysing this as a cultural phenomenon does not make them in their "shoes".

This was not supposed to be a reflect on the attitudes of the people and the wants of the movie going public who year after year are accustomed to spending their hard-earned money on useless crap with men and women jumping around and running around trees.

YUCK...another one with the fit-for-Mr. Dombivli/Dahisar/Nalasopara Uday Chopra. Wonder how many more films is the Yashraj banner going to sacrifice on that dud. (No the last word isn't a typo). They do make mass entertainers and they do them well. Yashraj has its place in the history of Indian Cinema as an entertainer. And it lives up to this image with most movies that it has created. It also seems to understand the psyche of typical Indian crowd and is generally able to deliver what appeals to them best- "Try a little adventure and then firmly comeback to the good old Indian values."

Funny? yeah but so damn annoying. Just when you think maybe this one is original... you know its not! Very soon movie makers are going to run out of ideas and Mahesh Bhatt will still be making sex thrillers throwing silly comments about ethics and all against others!

The caveat
For all its fabulous promos, box office success and even awards, a Yashraj film is never what I would call a 'classic'. That's because it is based on formula - although one that's been tweaked a bit and packaged beautifully. The industry is going towards a loss of ideas... what they should do is instead stick to slapstick comedies and mindless formulas... that will keep the expectations low, at least!

I don't see Yashraj ever making a true cult film like Dil Chahta Hai. A film which was made with a completely different mindset.

Trouble is, even Farhan Akhtar can't make another Dil Chahta Hai (and shouldn't be expected to either!). We need both kinds of filmmakers. And then some!

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