Career cop-out

"Mumbai girls are more adventurous than boys in their choice of career..." reports this morning's Times of India.

A survey of 1800 students aged 15 to 18 found that 61% of female students (vs 39% of guys) favoured offbeat 'careers' that included vocations like dog training, tattoo artistry, paragliding, sleuthing and teaching yoga.

Sounds more like luxury, than adventure to me. When a girl says, "Dad I want to study Philosophy" or "Mom, I want to become a dog trainer" here are the two likely scenarios:

a) OK, dear - whatever it is that makes you happy
b) We thought you could do better than that but OK, dear - whatever it is that makes you happy

The sentence left unsaid after that:"Theek hai, baad mein shaadi hi to karni hai".

Given the times, most parents would like their daughters to have some skill or ability to be financially independent - if need be. But very few actually push and prod the girls into gruelling careers.

In fact, some - of the Old School - are secretly relieved: "Zyaada padh-likh kar kya karna hai?"

Take the same dilemma when raised by the opposite sex. When a guy says, "Dad I want to study Philosophy" or "Mom, I want to become a dog trainer" here are the likely scenarios:

a) OK dear - whatever it is that makes you happy ... (the rare, 'enlightened' response - usually from parents with sufficiently large bank balances).

b) We thought you could do better than that... AND WE INSIST THAT YOU DO!!! ... (reaction you can expect from the majority.)

The sentence left unsaid after that: "Remember, you are the man, the Provider!!"

Actually it usually doesn't even come to that - most guys naturally gravitate towards careers where there is money and power. They are more risk averse simply because the chances of finding a career-minded woman who is going to support them while they paint or sing for pocket money are low.

And, let's face it, the idea itself is unacceptable to the average Male Ego. Of course, neither is the average Female keen on a house-husband.

So the Old Roles are modified a bit, but not that changed. essentially! And honestly - barring a few unconventional equations here and there - I'm not sure that they ever truly will...

Hmmm.. another facet to the situation is that in the North, girls are still viewed as 'liabilities' who will 'drain' your cashflow in about 18-24 years. Expect no rewards from rearing a girl child. So, if you are a middle-aged 'conservative' (read: egoistic chauvinistic male example of pomposity), living in an upscale South Delhi locality, holding down a job in a Multinational Bank who (thankfully) doesnt tell you what your social responsibilities are, and your one daughter, whom you were forced by the societal pressures to send to Lady Hardinge College, was influenced by the stupid new waves of independence, esoteric career choices, and flights of fancy about intelligent decisions, you are stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Because nobody better than Bhajan Lal can tell you that women are good as cardboard cut-outs during Elections standing in for their husbands in jail, or for making hot rotis in the medieval kitchens.

And supporting children on careers are a wild goose chase supplemented by a loss of hard-earned money that would have gone a long way in making your son an MBA and getting a fat dowry to assure you of a prosperous retirement.

Don't know what hit my head stronger.. the fact that 'ladkiyon ko shaadi hi to karni hai', aur 'ladkon ko ghar chalane ke liye paise kamana hai'

If today a boy joins NIFT or something similar, eyes start staring at him... with one question: where will the money come from,when u get married and then, when i think about myself, i guess i would be too egoistic to marry someone better off than myself. guess that would be a major concern for me that my spouse is equal, but definitely not better off than me. Now it makes me think.. hmm..

...let's face it, the idea itself is unacceptable to the average Male Ego.

Just yesterday, I was telling a friend of mine about Amitabh-Jaya starrer "Abhiman", which depicts a strong successful man unable to come to terms with the fact that his wife had a much superior talent and hence was in much greater demand.

Much has changed in the thirty or so years since "Abhiman" was released. If today's women think that their spouses/boyfriends will not be able to handle their success, then the women have a lot of thinking to do and not vice versa. But still it will take generations and generations to accept the role-change.

Most of the times the guy and the girl are completely comfortable with each other's choices, it's the generation before them who fails to comprehend it. Since we cannot disappoint them or displease them, we try to appease them, cause at an age like that very rarely will they see and agree to our point of conviction.

Again very few do agree with us but they are so few that you can count them on fingers.!!