Lipstick jungle

A couple of days ago I caught an article about the show on Zee Studio called '15 Hottest Hollywood Moms'.

The list includes the likes of Julia Roberts, Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna. All of these women earn between $10 and $20 million a year and manage their mommy lives with a retinue of nannies, cooks, drivers and maids - the best money can buy.

But equally interesting is how they earned their money. By acting in just one or two major films, and committing to a couple of big brand endorsements. The really smart ones continue to earn royalties for work done years ago (like Julia - for Pretty Woman). Or they produce films which earn them a share in the profits.

The common thread running through their lives is this: control over what they do, and when they do it. Their schedule works for them, not against them.

If an actress with young children has to shoot for a film, she takes her kids and nanny along. It's perfectly acceptable; it's the way the industry works. And nobody bats an eyelid.

Let's, for a moment imagine the same scenario in another industry. You can't, can you? Two reasons.

A woman in her 20s or early 30s, with young children, cannot afford the same kind of support staff as a movie star. (Although in the Indian context, that's not strictly true). The second and more important reason, however, is this: "It's just not done".

A star can have it her way, because she is a star. Whereas a junior or mid level executive is... just an employee. Important, but not irreplaceable. The system will not bend to her needs, she must bend to the System.

When she bends upto the breaking point, the employee makes the only choice she can: which is to drop out of the System.

These thoughts come to mind as I read that IIM Kozhikode has achieved a new record by taking in 30% female candidates into its flagship PGP program. That's all very good but ten years from now, when these women are facing the questions of job vs motherhood, career vs family, will the answers be any different?

I really don't think so.

The class of 1993 at IIM Ahmedabad had a record 30 girls (in a batch of 180). Double the number of girls from the year before. At the time, we graduated with stars in our eyes and the conviction that we could conquer the world. But, most of us were conquered by the challenges of motherhood.

A good number of  women are working, but few, if any, upto full potential. Or with complete focus. They follow their husbands when they are transferred. Look for part-time jobs even after the baby starts school. Say no to jobs which require too much travel.

Because. It keeps life more simple and manageable.

Oh, so you women have no *ambition*? Well, it's not quite like that. Women do have ambition, they dream of a life where they can have it all.

A stimulating job, which makes the best use of their education and talents.

A wonderful home and a warm, loving family.

Time for exercise, reading, friends and daily schedules.

However, Murphy's laws for mothers decrees that a woman can have any two of the above. At best. So, make a choice - and hurry it up! There's a kid with homework waiting....

If you're a young woman in her 20s or early 30s reading this, I bet you are depressed by now. Well, don't be. My objective is not to just state the obvious, to lament the status quo. There are solutions.

The first thing to accept, very early, is that you will not have the same career path as a man, the linear A to B, B to C, management trainee to CEO.

Let's say you start working at 24, and plan to have your first child by age 32. That gives you 8 years in which to build your *star* value. To become more than just another employee to your company or organisation.

Enter baby.

Now, if you have successfully built up your brand value, one of two things can happen:

* You and your boss sit down together and create an arrangement that works for both of you.

It's possible, though rare, so you need a Plan B to fall back upon. Which is...

* You take your knowledge, expertise and network and use it to become self employed.

Meaning, from an employee you become an independent consultant. Or a 'freelancer'. Or 'a service provider'. Which is as difficult as it sounds. What you're selling is your skill, and that does not require investment.

All you need is *one* person who believes in you. For whom you do the job so well, that they recommend you to another person. And thus the cycle continues.

As you get better - and better known - for the work you do, you will be able to charge more for it. Earn as much or more than in a regular job. And, do it all, on your terms.

If it means taking along your children and their nanny - while you speak at a conference - so be it. That's what Julia Roberts would do, without any hesitation.

Be the star of your own life. Bask in the glow of the spotlight instead of lurking in the shadows of narrowly defined success.

Because you're worth it, and that's not just an advertising slogan.

You truly deserve to have it *all* and the sooner you get on the zig-zag path, the faster you'll get there!

Gigantic faith

This is one of the temples which is situated on the Pondy-TN border in the Tirubhuvanai village as we cross into Tamil Nadu from the eastern side. The specialty of the temple is that it is a Durga temple and is under a huge banyan tree said to be around 800 years old. Although its a far off distance we managed to trek around this area. The only thing to be feared was that it is a remote place and there were no street lights as it was getting dark. Shot in the September of 2010.

Welcome to Puducherry 2

This is the reception in one of the Achariya colleges - the Achariya Arts & Science College, Villianur (Pondy). Now at the base is a pocket sort of filled with water and fresh flowers as its a welcome symbol to be found everywhere in Pondy. At the center of India is the symbol of the Mother. Now she is a very famous personality in Pondy. As legend says she was Mirra Alfassa who was born in Paris on 21 February, 1878. 

At the age of thirty-six the Mother journeyed to Pondicherry, India, to meet Sri Aurobindo. She saw him on 29 March 1914 and at once recognized him as the one who for many years had inwardly been guiding her spiritual development. Staying for eleven months, she was obliged to return to France because of the First World War. She lived in France for about a year and then in Japan for almost four years. On 24 April 1920 she returned to Pondicherry to resume her collaboration with Sri Aurobindo, and remained here for the rest of her life.

At that time a small group of disciples had gathered around Sri Aurobindo. The increase of disciples led to the founding of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram on the 24th Nov, 1926. From the beginning Sri Aurobindo entrusted the Mother with full material and spiritual charge of the Ashram. After almost 50 years of work at every level, the Mother left her body on 17th Nov. 1973, at the age of ninety five. 

Invariably every shop, house, firm, factory, school and college sport a photograph of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. They are considered to be the spiritual leaders and path showers to everyone residing in Pondy.

So that was the trivia on them. Will be posting more of that and many more in the future blogs. Keep tuned..