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Friday, September 24, 2010

Shit can go hit

Sorry, folks. Despite being almost universally trashed Ravanan was officially a 'hit' in the south. Made with a budget of Rs 31 crores, Ravanan released with 400 prints and a 90% occupancy on the opening weekend.

A back-of-the-envelope calculation shows that Rs 13 crores could easily have been recovered on one single weekend alone given that:

400 screens X 9 shows over Fri-Sun X Rs 100 average ticket price (multiplexes charge more while others charge less) X 360 (assuming average hall size is 400 and there is 90% occupancy)

Bingo - you have Rs 12.96 crores.

I saw the movie on a Tuesday evening and the hall was pretty full which is great because whatever audience comes in after the first 3 days is pure profit.

Popcorn anyone?
The India Today calls it the 'popcorn' movie trend - films specially conceived and designed for the youth which, today, is the highest spending demographic.

'An Adlabs multiplex study says 50% if all footfalls belong to those between 18 and 30 years while a Shringar cinemas study last year showed that the 18-35 age segment is the biggest spender'.

So, films are being made to cater to this audience - right after Ravanan came Madarasapattinam which also, despite ok-ok reviews is being called a hit.

Given the sad state of the phillum industry even OK movies have a chance at the box office if they can create enough hype to get in the opening weekend audience. After that, if the film is bad it will quickly tank. If it's good - like Black and Page 3 - it goes the opposite way: Up!

Young people - and even older folks, families - are going to the movies because it is 'something to do'. In this country we don't have baseball games or ice hockey or any other weekend sporting events. We don't have a large pubbing or clubbing culture. We don't take off to jet ski or go sailing on weekends.

Leave aside a few of the super-rich who go to their farm houses and lie in hammocks. The only thing yuppie types can do to relax and unwind is eat, shop or watch movies. And you don't have much choice. Asked to choose between Ravanan and Madarasapattinam - I chose Ravanan. At least it had the famous Athirapally Falls - Maniratnam's preferred location in most of his movies right from Roja to Guru and now to Ravanan.

Young people often go to watch movies despite knowing they're bad because:
- Girlfriend ya boyfriend ke saath kahin jaana hai
- Group mein do log keh rahe hain - chalo dekh lete hain
- Even bad movies can be enjoyed by making fun of them

Either way no one is complaining!

Of Cats and Underdogs

Business Today is a magazine fond of making lists. Every issue features at least one 'top 10' something or the other. One issue (an old one i came across) had India's best mutual fund managers.

The intro stated: "Many are Indian Institute of Management (IIM) grads, others are Chartered Accountants (CAs) and a couple sport more esoteric degrees". I skimmed through the survey, more as anxiously as I could and here were the startling results.

The scorecard
FMS - 1
JBIMS - 2
NMIMS - 1
CAs - 2
unknown - 1
IIM Lucknow - 1

Unless the author of the intro meant "MBAs from premier institutes" - which included FMS and JBIMS - the IIM reference was actually misleading!

The 'esoteric' degrees the magazine referred to were basically MBAs from lesser known - actually unknown - institutes. There were 3 on the list, which was a statistically significant 30%. These included:

MBA Allahabad University
(Ashish Kumar, 35 - GM, LIC Mutual Fund)

MBA Bhopal University
( Rahul Goswami, 32 - Sr Fund Manager, Prudential ICICI AMC)

Hindu Institute of Management, Sonepat
( Sujoy Kumar Das, 32 - VP - DSP Merrill Lynch MF)

I wondered, a dozen years after graduating from IIM  - how much does the institute label matter? Well, to some, at the entry level - a hell of a lot. Many companies dont take MBAs outside the top few institutes through campus placements, so definitely you get a headstart.

But they do take in lateral recruits based on performance - and hence success stories like Sujoy, the Sonepat MBA who started his career with Bank of Punjab. And of course we all know this at some level - that in the end it's we as individuals who are responsible for our career graphs - regardless of which institute we graduate from.

But I'd just like to highlight this point, because I often meet young people who tried for IIMs, didn't make it and are now studying elsewhere. And feeling terrible about it. I want to say to all of you that 10 years from now it's really not going to matter. Although you may use it as an excuse to explain why you aren't doing as well as X, Y or Z.

Bottom line: It's what I call the cats and dogs theory at work in every field of life - not just MBA. The cats are the ones born with the silver spoons or who manage to enter institutes of a certain reputation. But the underdog can have his day - and often does.

There's Something about Maggi

It's been years and years and years having Maggi. Twisted yellow curlicues floating in a viscous brownish/yellowish sauce. Ideally consumed without peas or carrots or other sidey attempts at adding on "nutrition". What Maggi does best is fill tummies, especially the kind that are perennially growling - in hostels.

Maggi's ads always feature mummies and bachchalog but I bet a good deal of their sales come from hostel junta tired of aloo in its nth incarnation. If you've ever been subject to the vagaries of a hostel "mess" (which is what the food tastes like!), you'd agree Maggi is a gourmet option.

It says "noodles" right next to "2 Minutes" on the jhataak yellow pack but that's not strictly true. Maggi is Maggi and dhabas outside hostels take pains to specify that on their menu.

BITS Pilani makes a mean Maggi (with paneer), guaranteed to warm you up on a chilly desert night. Inmates of Sophia college hostel have been known to make Maggi on an electric iron coz that's the only instrument they have to "cook" with. So you see, Maggi is a sort of institution, despite the fact that they remind some people of what earthworms would look like swimming in garam masala!

Kuch ho gaya hai
The reason I'm inspired to write this ode is the recent introduction of Maggi "vegetable atta noodles". I tried them out and must say - they are surprisingly bakwaas.

It was way back in the 80's when Maggi was introduced by Nestle in India. I still remember having joined the Maggi Club wherein Nestle would conduct quizzes and various other competitions. The winning team and the runners up would be compensated by a carton full of Maggi Noodles or Maggi ketchup's. Hmm !! Impromptu modus operandi Nestle undertook to promote the brand that time. I still do relinquish the taste the original Maggi I had i.e.the taste of the first lot of Maggi which was distributed to students all over India in various schools by Nestle. The taste has not gone from my taste buds still. That was then.

I use the word 'surprisingly' because in the past the makers of Maggi have introduced several extremely sad line extensions. Such as: tomato flavour (yuck!) and chocolate flavour (yuckier!!). Brief abominations which the general public may not remember but I am alive to testify they did happen.

Both were good 'ideas' probably thrown up during focus group discussions with housewives. They just didn't taste good. Or go with the concept of noodles. The chocolate flavour, when cooked, was about twice as gross as Shefali Zariwala's post Kaanta Laga video.

Then, they introduced a 'Chinese' variant. Which was not all that bad except it was rarely available and had to be cooked differently (you boil the noodles and then add the tastemaker and some orange coloured oil).

I don't think think Maggi Chinese quite took off. It became one of those novelty products you try once but then don't like enough to keep buying.

People who really wanted 'Chinese' bought hakka noodles. And hostelers never warmed to it either.

In the interim the folks at Maggi got paranoid over rival "smoodles" and went and changed the recipe! Crores of rupees were spent to inform consumers they should use "2 cups of water" instead of "1 1/2" while cooking. Maybe the noodles even started tasting better but there was one big problem - it wasn't Maggi anymore!!!

Phir kya hua? They brought back good old as-we-know-it Maggi. Like Coke brought back its original formula. Like Kyunki Saas brought back Mihir. Like Channel [V] brought back Nonie and Trey (OK, they didn't ... but don't you wish???)

Old vs new
The new 'health bhi, taste bhi' Maggi gets thumbs up from mothers all over India. They're happy to be able to send Maggi in their children's tiffin box once a week without feeling any guilt.

Yes, the atta noodles are more filling and they don't leave an icky yellow residue in the pan. And from a purely taste point of view - they're better especially when children are concerned.

A whole new generation will probably grow up on atta noodles. But for me, the original 'yellow' Maggi will always be special. Maggi as comfort food. Maggi as a taste and smell which brings back many moods and memories. Maggi when you are starving - and there are no interesting leftovers - at 2 am.

May both continue to prevail!

End of (unpaid) promo.

India Fashion Weak

Another Lakme India Fashion Week came and went by. Here's what I think it ultimately boils down to...

All the world's a ramp,
And all the men metrosexual and women size 6...

To the lay viewer - or 'consumer' as she is popularly known - that's what Lakme India Fashion Week (LIFW) looks like...

Designer Narendra Kumar's collection is inspired by the MMS scandal. Shantanu and Nikhil are inspired by the Sikh religion. Wendell Rodricks is inspired by the untouched people of the world's islands. No one, but no one, is inspired by the idea of clothing the modern - not model - Indian woman.

If genius is 1 per cent inspiration and 99 per cent perspiration, so is wearable fashion. The fashion fraternity is excellent at the first, hopeless at the second. It is the local tailors and boutiquewaalis who put in the sweat. These folks follow Fashion Week keenly, adapt an element here and an idea there to make clothing that women, with good money to spend, will buy.

But this doesn't matter to the designer darzi. No sir, we design for the international market. Didn't you know LIFW now attracts foreign buyers - the kind with authentic white skin?

Nightmares on Bollywood street

Slasher flicks are a genre Hollywood created especially for the teen audience. Specifically, the 'date movie' crowd who came into theaters more to hang onto each other than the storyline.

The film which started the trend is thought to be Halloween (1978) - but it had relatively little blood and not that many dead bodies. Friday the 13th is what really set the 'standard' and sparked off a spate of horror flicks.

'Nightmare on Elm Street' was my first slasher film I saw. I remember seeing it at the now-defunct Picture Palace cinema when I was in class 9. A large part of the thrill lay in watching an 'A' film as an under-18.

Of course, over the long run greed resulted in stretching both the 'Friday and 'Nightmare' franchises to breaking point. A rash of yucky sequels all but killed the horror genre.

Then, Wes Craven (the guys behind the Elm Street series) made a huge comeback with 'Scream'. The new genre of horror packed in not just blood and unnecessary sex scenes but a sly sense of irony. The audience already knew what to expect - and the director acknowledged that by poking fun at the standard 'horror film' plot devices.

The Indian slasher flick

In India, 'horror' has long been associated with pyaasi aatmas put on screen by Ramsay brothers. Low budget, cheap special-effect films which scared nobody, least of all the sophisticated urban youth audience.

But, as Bollywood was forced to look beyond its standard formulas to attract the multiplex audience, it looked to Hollywood for inspiration. And 'horror' was one seemingly underexploited genre.

So, Ekta Kapoor produced 'Kucch to Hai' - it flopped. Kajol's sister Tanisha made her debut with 'Sshhh... koi hai' - it flopped. Then, writer-director Soham released 'Kaal' - with the blessings of Karan Johar & SRK. Going by the buzz that the film created- it wasn't a major hit.

What went wrong?

Great Expectations
The audience was hungry for 'something new', that's for sure. But film makers are underestimating their intelligence. Ekta cleanly ripped off 'I Know what you did last summer' - a movie which is a regularly re-run on TV. 2 reels into the film and you knew exactly who the killer was. So where was the fun?

Same with 'Shhh.. Koi hai', which ripped of 'Scream' but with none of the style of the original. It was, however, superior to Ekta's efforts in the technical department.

Then came 'Kaal' which I must commend for at least trying to be original, although loosely it was a Jurassic-Park-meets-Sixth-Sense.

The photography, sound effects and atmosphere building was brilliant. The casting was good - you felt a lot more interested in the fate of the characters than in the other two films. And thankfully, there were no songs spoiling the flow.

Yet, the film met with less-than-exciting reviews and a lukewarm response from the audience.

I think the 'Karan Johar' association had created the wrong kind of expectations. This just wasn't his brand of film.

On top of that, maybe to 'sell' and to have something to air in promos there were two item numbers ghusaofied in the beginning and end of the film when credits roll. These had nothing to do with the film and again, created the wrong expectations in the audience.

Yes, the film was predictable. A bunch of friends in a jungle with man-eating tigers supposedly on the prowl. They had to die one by one, the lesser known the actor, the earlier his or her demise. The surprise element had to come with the way in which each one died - and the final denouement. The problem was, that surprise was lacking.

The 'enlightened' viewer had already figured out the ending. The less sophisticated viewer thought 'yeh to National Geographic channel lag raha hai' and never fully involved with the goings-on.

I say this because I saw 'Kaal', with a mixed crowd of papajis, auntyjis, newlyweds and young people. Half an hour before the movie ended, patience was lost. When Esha Deol went to fetch water from a well she's been warned to stay away from, a smart alec shouted, "Sunny Deol ko bhejo - behen ko bachaane ke liye". More hoots, comments and giggles followed. The film had lost it.

All about emotion
I think the classic 'slasher' flick fails primarily because people feel no emotional involvement with the characters.

Maybe Indians just don't like pointless blood and gore. Blood spilt to save one's family honour or beat up evil goondas is fine, but to just kill for the fun of it (which is the essence of a slasher film) is a very alien concept.

Psychological suspense thrillers have worked - like Raaz. A one-woman centric film like 'Bhoot' worked. Neither had bodies piled up, so technically they aren't 'slasher' films anyways. But certainly Bhoot was scary... In fact it is the scariest Hindi film I have seen (and I mean that as a compliment).

Bottomline: Bollywood is on the right track - that of exploring new kinds of films. I guess they will just have to try harder to come up with more original and inventive plots - whatever the genre they choose to attack. In all other departments, they are pretty much at par with Hollywood.

And yeah, maybe there just isn't that large a 'date movie' audience. Yet.

The Physics of Buzz

Here's my two bits.

Call it vibe or buzz or whatever you will. What you're feeling at a high profile place like the disc or a PVR on a Saturday night is a convergence of collective emotional energy. And emotion, like the common cold - is extremely contagious.

But how did that energy get there in the first place? Let me try and use a well-loved equation to explain it: E = m c squared

Where E = emotional energy or 'buzz'
M = Mood
C = confluence X 'charge'

Sounds vague, huh. What is this 'charge'.

Well, charge is different things at different times, but essentially it's heightened expectations of ... something.

At a stadium before a cricket match it's the anticipation of seeing Tendulkar batting, of hoping he won't be out for a duck and the uncertainty of not knowing what the outcome will be. Except that you have 8 hours ahead of a jolly good time.

At an extremely popular and frequented place, it's the anticipation of bumping into interesting people, places to shop, eat and hang out, essentially hubs which attract diverse individuals - some trendsetters and some good old ordinary folk.

The Origin of Buzz

It might start with a single such individual setting up shop - one where the business and culture in some way collide ie generally, a trendy new restaurant, clothing shop, music store, lounge bar - something that is instantly recognized to have that intangible quality called 'cool'.

Purely on word-of-mouth, the 'cool', good-looking, confident patrons will start coming in. All of those attributes are generally available to those with time and money to spend, whose concept of life has moved beyond survival or worrying about the future - to a constant search for 'what's new and exciting'. By definition these people are mostly young or at the least youthful.

Not every cool business instantly results in the development of a hub. It takes time - and suitability of location.
As more and more interesting establishments open up, the place becomes a hub - and attracts more and more interesting people. All of whom come with a certain air of expectancy 'of having a good time' which charges the atmosphere. When that charge develops critical mass - the air acquires a buzz.

Over a longer period of time, it's not the original trendsetters ie the commercial or cultural establishments which maintain the buzz - it's just the people. Many popular places- though stagnant in terms of new and exciting things to do is buzzing just because of the folks who are attracted to come hang out there.

A large number of backpackers - thanks to the Lonely Planet guidebook recommendations - and street hawkers who sell cheerful and cheap imbue excitement and newness - an experience that's different every time.

A tale of 2 cities
At a macro level, cities have a 'buzz'. Because they create heightened expectations. The migrant from Bihar arrives in Mumbai having heard that 'no one can starve to death here'. The streetlights/ paved roads/ tall buildings - all build up in him the anticipation of a 'good life'. Or at least one that is better than what was left behind.

The MBA who comes to the city to take up his or her first job has a similar set of expectations about 'Bombay life'. The important thing is that Bombay some unique characteristics which are not 'Marathi', 'Gujarati' or specific to any one community. Or India, in general. eg People in Bombay are always in a hurry - which in itself might be creating some 'buzz'.

Similarly, a city like New York attracts people from all over America - and the world (ie confluence) - all arriving with a heightened sense of expectation of something. 'Making it big', drinking in culture, being more 'free' than they were in Athens, Georgia where all 3000 residents meddle in each other's lives from baptism to funeral.

Can it be generated?
Knowing all this, can one 'create' a buzz? Perhaps. Singapore is trying hard.. though honestly it's not as buzzing as a Hong Kong which got there through the process of natural evolution.

I think the best you can do is try and assemble the elements and hope they spontaneously combust. The challenge is to go a step further, and figure out how to light the matchstick.

Train of thought II

For as long as I can remember, Bombay has been admired for its fast and efficient local trains. Out-of-town visitors are struck by the speed and efficiency of the suburban train network.

But, sadly, those who live and work in the city - and can afford to do so - are slowly shifting to the roads. Not to buses, but their own cars.

Why? Because although no one enjoys Bombay road traffic, doing so in the air conditioned comfort of your own car, tuned to your favorite FM station is the only alternative you have. Even the so-called 'first class' is now not much better than cattle class.

So, why haven't the railways upgraded their coaches? For the last 10 years we've been hearing of the introduction of a/c coaches (there's an announcement to that effect once again). But in the 'interest of the common man' (who is hanging on for dear life from the ordinary compartments) things never move forward.

Class apart
Anyone who has taken a ride on the Delhi metro will see what taking care of the interest of the common man really means. A global-standard metro service is available to all the city's residents. Have been through both these trains so there's depth in what i say about both of these.

A ticket from Rohini to Kashmere Gate (a dozen stops away) costs a mere Rs 12! (A short distance first class ticket on our comparatively khatara Mumbai local is Rs 50).

 Delhi metro is already fairly popular. Since the launch of the stretch connecting Connaught Place has started, its use has skyrocketed. In the longer run, with Gurgaon and Noida connected more and more car owners will be tempted to switch over.

The Mumbai local, in contrast, is driving people in the opposite direction. Of course, 18 year olds don't drive to college - in Mumbai. At that stage of life, public transport rules.

But a few short years later, into your second or third job, you take a car loan. Initially, it's to use only on weekends. Then, you take it to work occassionally. By and by, you get addicted to the comfort. The same locals which you swore by earlier is too squishy and sweaty to travel by.

Similarly, once you 'move' even further up in life, you employ a driver. Then, the task of driving to work on days when the fellow is on leave becomes a pain.

Aaj kal aur kal
Man is a creature of habit and once he acquires a new one it's hard to shake off. Things which were an accepted part of life at 20 feel like hardships at 30!

That's because while there may have been less creature comforts at 20, you had so many intangible assets at the time. The long and continuous company of friends. The freedom that comes with student life. The hope of great things to come.

By 30, you may technically be a 'youth' but your time is not your own. Most of it is mortgaged to your employer.In return, you may be paid a good deal of money. This money then is used to buy back some time. And add some layers of comfort.

Because in our heads we may remain young for many more years - even decades - than previous generations. But, the hectic lifestyles we lead quickly start taking a toll on our bodies.

Bottomline: When travelling like animals in local trains is no longer an acceptable standard in public life, neither will living in a 1 room shanty or shitting on tracks. That's when we can start thinking of becoming a Shanghai or a Singapore.

Recent reports suggest that work on a metro train service connecting Ghatkopar and Versova/ Colaba and Charkop is about to begin.

About time - definitely!