Gullibles Travails

If you are a surfer of late night television, you cannot miss the ubiquitous teleshopping ads. From magic mops to machines which make your stomach as flat as Lijjat papad, there's a whole range of dubious products on offer.

Products which - they promise - will work like magic on problems of magnificent and everyday importance.

Do they? Of course not! Phir unka dhanda kaise chalta rehta hai, you wonder? Adman Prasoon Joshi offered a bunch of reasons in a recent column for Businessworld magazine:

The first is timing: often either late at night or in the afternoons. At this time, one is not at one's sharpest best. Or maybe, not much is happening with life at that moment, and boom! Somebody and some magical thing promises to change one's life so quickly and easily. It is hard not to get tempted.

Second is repeated reinforcement: instead of the regular 15-30 second commercial, what gets beamed ad nauseam is a 3-minute hard- sell of the product in question, literally lulling you into believing.

Next is the extensive use of testimonials, especially by many has-been or not-so-happening celebrities. What is disturbing is the use of celebrities, who are regarded as trustworthy by their screen image alone.

To the above list I'd like to add a few more factors:

The late night or afternoon time slot is one where you are likely to be watching TV alone. This is important because otherwise there would be some sensible soul around to scream "stop"! Before you actually 'call now' and give out your credit card number to buy a jar of magic car wax polish for Rs 1999. (two 'free' magic wipecloths included at no extra cost).

Secondly, the 'repeated reinforcement' is done in a very clever way. It's not like when you watch the same ad 3 times in a row before the movie starts That's plain irritating.

The teleshopping ads are more like mini-soap operas with a mix of characters, drama and emotion. The 'Miracle Blade Knife' is an excellent example.

It's not just the way that chef chops up everything from tomato and bread to pineapple and fish. It's also the non stop bak bak and excited oohs and aahs that go with it.

Kadwa sach
 When people talk about commercialism in the US and the consumer culture, they yet have to notice that we Indians (in country or out of) are the biggest purchasers of consumer products and will probably surpass china in the consumer market (China is currently overtaking the US in consumption). At the same time we are overtaking them in population. I was seeing this miracle knife ads on tv since 1996, and they were prime time afternoon infomercials then. The fact of course is - however great the knife and the blade - ultimately only years and years of skill and practice result in the spectacular cutting demonstrated on-screen.

Same goes for all those 'ab isolator' equipment. The guys who demonstrate it on screen are already reasonably fit. A genuine fatso - looking for the easy way out - would not have the strength or willpower to actually do those exercises!

But what teleshopping networks bank on is this: the gullible fools who bought those magnetic earrings hoping to miraculously lose weight will be too embarassed to tell anyone they've been duped.

And even if - over the long run - a particular product is discredited, there are always enough new products to be advertised. And enough bakras to be mesmerised.

Kya idea hai
If nothing, one has to admire the grasp these companies have over human psychology. And their 'creativity' in coming up with more and more saleable ideas.

My all-time favourite is the 'Butterfly abs' - a small device which they claim makes you lose weight from whichever part of the body it's strapped onto. So, you're told, wear it while sitting around watching TV, or in the gym, or even in office. Yeah right.

A person who used the product (though she claims did not buy herself :) says the vibration or "buzz" from the butterfuly abs is so strong and uncomfortable you can't stand it against your skin for more than a couple of minutes. I love the way they use fake doctors and fake theories to get their point through. We have iron in our blood hence if we wear a magnetic belt around our arms we can control our BP. Wear it on your right hand if you have high bp or left hand if you have low bp!! Wot a theory! And yeah even timings are important. Every product has a specific timing to cater to every segment of consumers. Like, in the afternoon they sell some cream they found in the jungles of Africa that can increase boob sizes in just weeks.

Besides which - it doesn't actually work. If it did, I'm sure McDonald's would set up a factory and hand out a 'butterfly abs' free with every order! Now that would make their greasefest a truly 'happy meal' :)

The spirit is willing...
The new and ultimate masterstroke has been to transcend into another realm of products. A realm where performance is simply not a parameter. Where purchase is made on faith alone.

It started with 'Shree Yantra' - a crystal pyramid with beneficial properties which our Tulsi bahu promoted as the harbinger of sukh, shanti, chain and aman in every Hindu household. Little mythological playlets and references to Ram, Sita etc are slipped into the ad. I'm sure they've had plenty of sales...

Now, Kader Khan appeals to Muslims to order 'Allah ke Darwaaze ka aks'. The infomercial used terrific Urdu, mixed with a muezzin's call playing subtly in the background and actual maulvis in the foreground. Declares an impassioned Kaderji: "Hum aapse is darwaaze ki keemat nahin maang rahe hain... hadiya maang rahe hain". (sirf Rs 1999, naturally)

I can tell you this product has just the right mix of novelty + religious call of duty to become a huge success. And surely Sikh, Christian and Jain products will follow...

Bottomline: Teleshopping may be borderline legal and you can argue it's upto each individual to safeguard his or her own interests.

But must these infomercials run on trusted channels - like Discovery and Sony? And are our celebs so desperate to make an extra buck that they will lend their names to any old thing?? Certainly looks like it - right now.

A magnificent obsession

There are many reasons not to have a child. Selfish reasons. But here's one completely selfish reason to go ahead and reproduce: You have the perfect excuse to shed your adulthood once in a while and relive the simple joys of being a kid again.

One such simple joy: playing carrom. Every child is crazed by this game and reignites the spark in grown-ups as well.

I'm not sure if carrom is a 'game' or a 'sport'. Apparently there is some kind of world carrom championship but I've never seen its telecast - or even in the newspapers.

A google search confirms there are entities such as the 'international carrom federation' but it's more a case of 'world famous' in India. Most of the international players are also - it appears - of Indian origin.

Other nations with 'strong' carrom teams include the likes of Sri Lanka and Maldives :)

Carrom, incidentally, is the ONLY 'sport' on planet Earth I can claim to have some mastery over. Because God, when he was handing out genes, forgot to add the khel-kood one in me...

Kya shot hai!
Whoever invented the game of carrom had a great sense of elegance and beauty. A properly put together set of 9 white coins, 9 black coins and one queen in the centre is a most satisfying visual arrangement. And managing to get one or more coins in with the first strike is an amazing feeling.

There are the 'simple' coins one can try and put into the pocket in an ordinary manner. By taking careful aim with the striker. But even here, hitting with the right force makes all the difference. (Liberal sprinklings of boric powder help too!)

The more awkwardly placed coins must be conquered with flamboyant 'cuts' and 'rebounds'. Which, to the layman, appear to be flukes!

It's all about practice: chhote chhote shehron mein, khaali bore dupaharon mein... aur bade shehron mein bhi!

Carrom, in fact, was our house's rainy season ritual. And at the place of my previous employment every August 15 we'd have a carrom tournament - singles and doubles. A few rusting little 'cups' which came my way for winning those frenetic competitions still peep out of the back of a showcase somewhere...

Something classic
One of these days we might have video and mobile gaming versions of carrom - but there's something special about the physical aspect of the game.

The impact of the striker on the coins. Of a pocket come unsewn in one corner, so you have to keep your hand underneath and catch falling coins. Of waiting - with baited breath - to see if the cover will be taken after the queen.

Excitements captured just right in Munnabhai MBBS.

Pool tables were a brief craze which came and went. Snooker remains an expensive and inaccessible shauk. But I think carrom will definitely be handed down from one generation to the next in our country.

Like a bridge between the physical past and the digital present.

So the next time you have to give a bratty little nephew or niece a birthday present, skip the Barbies and the racing cars. Pick up a wooden carrom board - and enjoy it together!

And yeah, if 'sudoku' can become a worldwide hit, who knows what a clever toy company can do with apna carrom?

Kaun flakes ?

On my table lies an "information kit" from Kellogg's India - courtesy of some hyper-efficient PR agency - which states:

"Kellogg India and the Indian Medical Association launch month-long 'anaemia-free India" campaign".

Wonderful. This is all part of a larger plan to have an anaemia free India by the year 2015. A noble objective, given that "90% of adolescent girls, women and children in India suffer from the deficiency".

And what is the solution to the problem? Kelloggs believes that:

a) "One of the most effective ways of communicating the message on the importance of diet in addressing anaemia is through collaborative efforts between health professional associations and the food industry committed to the cause... "

b) "Iron fortification of basic foods is the most essential, economic and convenient approach to address this health condition, as it does not require food habit modifications."

So far, so good. But further into the press release the company points out: "A typical Indian diet, being largely vegetarian, might not be able to meet the daily requirements of iron due to limited iron-rich vegetarian foods and lower bio-availability of these resources."

It goes on to declare...
"A single 30 g serving of Kelloggs cornflakes, fortified to deliver 25% RDA (Recommended Dietary Allowance) of iron is one of the best vegetarian sources of iron (underlined by them, not me). Moreover it provides 50% RDA of Vitamin C another critical factor that enhances iron absorption."

Never mind that a family of 4 guzzling 30 g of Kellogg's cornflakes a day will end up finishing a 500 gm pack costing Rs 120 in 4 days flat.

A formula which adds to our health and their wealth. As the average household would spend about 900 bucks a month on cornflakes...

Ground realities
I'm no dietician, but surely adding green leafy vegetables to your diet is a far cheaper solution? And 'fortification' of basic food is more easily done in the form of adding shredded paalak or methi to ones atta and dal (we do it regularly).

One of my friends used to have fainting spells - due to anaemia. A pack of dates (khajoor) costing around 10 bucks is what my doctor recommended to him. It is, I am told, the cheapest and most effective source of iron.

Now of course, Kelloggs being a commercial entity will try to have a commercial angle while supporting this 'noble cause' - and not promote spinach or dates. So go ahead, sell us your cornflakes... But try and understand the Indian psyche, so you meet with greater success!

The problem, dear Kelloggs people, is not just that Indians prefer 'hot breakfasts' and all that jazz you told us at the glitzy press conference at the Oberoi rooftop in circa 2010.

The problem is your cornflakes are too damn expensive. Cellphone usage has jumped exponentially, due to lower rates. So would the popularity of cornflakes -if you cared to bring down the price.

Right now we pick up one 500 gm dabba and eat it with kanjoosi for a month. At 49 bucks a box I bet we'd be OK polishing off a box a week.

And then, all this Iron-Shakti business I'd happily swallow. And so would Indians across SECs.

We have these funny Kellogg's ideas because of the artificial beings that we have become. Not that cooking dal is very natural, but still its closer to nature than having Kelloggs or Maggi for example. Everything else like what dieticians say is crap. The fact is we have forgotten the very meaningful lesson of being conservative and yes when i say that I mean developing a conserving attitude. when eating is satisfying hunger we talk about eating for taste and then again starts an addiction of taste and everything else. We hardly do things the way they should be done and we hardly do things for the right reasons.

Many girls these days want a job to prove something and there are less who want it because thats the way it should be. Feminists do things for feminism and thats the reason they suck. We need to think about why we do so many things the way we do them. If the reasons are fears (including insecurities and crisis like the typical feminist notion of insecurity about identity and individuality and freedom and space) or temptations (taste, thrill etc. . ) then things do go wrong. And we see all this intellectual shit.

Till then, can you please pass the paalak paneer?!

Career cop-out

"Mumbai girls are more adventurous than boys in their choice of career..." reports this morning's Times of India.

A survey of 1800 students aged 15 to 18 found that 61% of female students (vs 39% of guys) favoured offbeat 'careers' that included vocations like dog training, tattoo artistry, paragliding, sleuthing and teaching yoga.

Sounds more like luxury, than adventure to me. When a girl says, "Dad I want to study Philosophy" or "Mom, I want to become a dog trainer" here are the two likely scenarios:

a) OK, dear - whatever it is that makes you happy
b) We thought you could do better than that but OK, dear - whatever it is that makes you happy

The sentence left unsaid after that:"Theek hai, baad mein shaadi hi to karni hai".

Given the times, most parents would like their daughters to have some skill or ability to be financially independent - if need be. But very few actually push and prod the girls into gruelling careers.

In fact, some - of the Old School - are secretly relieved: "Zyaada padh-likh kar kya karna hai?"

Take the same dilemma when raised by the opposite sex. When a guy says, "Dad I want to study Philosophy" or "Mom, I want to become a dog trainer" here are the likely scenarios:

a) OK dear - whatever it is that makes you happy ... (the rare, 'enlightened' response - usually from parents with sufficiently large bank balances).

b) We thought you could do better than that... AND WE INSIST THAT YOU DO!!! ... (reaction you can expect from the majority.)

The sentence left unsaid after that: "Remember, you are the man, the Provider!!"

Actually it usually doesn't even come to that - most guys naturally gravitate towards careers where there is money and power. They are more risk averse simply because the chances of finding a career-minded woman who is going to support them while they paint or sing for pocket money are low.

And, let's face it, the idea itself is unacceptable to the average Male Ego. Of course, neither is the average Female keen on a house-husband.

So the Old Roles are modified a bit, but not that changed. essentially! And honestly - barring a few unconventional equations here and there - I'm not sure that they ever truly will...

Hmmm.. another facet to the situation is that in the North, girls are still viewed as 'liabilities' who will 'drain' your cashflow in about 18-24 years. Expect no rewards from rearing a girl child. So, if you are a middle-aged 'conservative' (read: egoistic chauvinistic male example of pomposity), living in an upscale South Delhi locality, holding down a job in a Multinational Bank who (thankfully) doesnt tell you what your social responsibilities are, and your one daughter, whom you were forced by the societal pressures to send to Lady Hardinge College, was influenced by the stupid new waves of independence, esoteric career choices, and flights of fancy about intelligent decisions, you are stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Because nobody better than Bhajan Lal can tell you that women are good as cardboard cut-outs during Elections standing in for their husbands in jail, or for making hot rotis in the medieval kitchens.

And supporting children on careers are a wild goose chase supplemented by a loss of hard-earned money that would have gone a long way in making your son an MBA and getting a fat dowry to assure you of a prosperous retirement.

Don't know what hit my head stronger.. the fact that 'ladkiyon ko shaadi hi to karni hai', aur 'ladkon ko ghar chalane ke liye paise kamana hai'

If today a boy joins NIFT or something similar, eyes start staring at him... with one question: where will the money come from,when u get married and then, when i think about myself, i guess i would be too egoistic to marry someone better off than myself. guess that would be a major concern for me that my spouse is equal, but definitely not better off than me. Now it makes me think.. hmm..

...let's face it, the idea itself is unacceptable to the average Male Ego.

Just yesterday, I was telling a friend of mine about Amitabh-Jaya starrer "Abhiman", which depicts a strong successful man unable to come to terms with the fact that his wife had a much superior talent and hence was in much greater demand.

Much has changed in the thirty or so years since "Abhiman" was released. If today's women think that their spouses/boyfriends will not be able to handle their success, then the women have a lot of thinking to do and not vice versa. But still it will take generations and generations to accept the role-change.

Most of the times the guy and the girl are completely comfortable with each other's choices, it's the generation before them who fails to comprehend it. Since we cannot disappoint them or displease them, we try to appease them, cause at an age like that very rarely will they see and agree to our point of conviction.

Again very few do agree with us but they are so few that you can count them on fingers.!!

The 'One' thing

Since the debate refuses to abate, here are my thoughts.  

In the beginning
God - whichever one you believe in - created a virus in the image of man. And woman. Now the trick to spreading the virus quickly and effectively was to have it replicate on its own.

So He invented sex. Yes, I will refer to God as 'He' because I think our Creator must have been a guy. Had it been a woman, certainly She would've given all of us periods annually - not every month!

But you see, God's primary motive in adding the sex angle was not pleasure but reproduction. The fact that it was pleasurable, of course, offered the incentive to undertake the activity.

As an added safety feature, to ensure perpetuation of his invention, God gave man a reproductive organ with a mind of its own. One that did not always and necessarily obey the commands from the High Command.

This hardwiring has complicated life for Modern Day Man. Say you meet a nice girl, and there is a mutual attraction. The High Command says, Wait! Take it easy. Get to know her. Be a gentleman.

But whether He likes it or not, the 'reproduce' circuit is also switched on and it sends really powerful signals...

Doesn't this also happen to women? Well, some believe it did in the Caveman era, but centuries of social conditioning, Mills & Boon novels and mushy films have had their evil effect. Although it looks like God wired us differently to begin with.

First of all, since women were the ones stuck with the unwanted side-effect ("badhaai ho, aap maa banne waali hain") they were bound to be much more cautious and see a big red "Stop" sign.

Advances in birth control have partially taken care of that factor, but it goes deeper.

Why Viagra doesn't work
The latest on the subject is that after eight years of tests involving 3,000 women, Pfizer, the company behind Viagra, has abandoned efforts to prove that the drug works for females too.

"It is the confirmation that men have long dreaded. Scientists have concluded that women achieve most sexual satisfaction through the stimulation of their brain and not any other organ...."

An excerpt of one report on the same issue:
Exhaustive research has concluded that men and women have a fundamentally different relationship between arousal and desire. A women's arousal is triggered by a network of emotional, intellectual and relationship-based factors rather than the simple physical response required by a man.

While a man's arousal almost always led to a desire for sex, there was no such obvious corresponding factor with women.... Men consistently get erections in the presence of naked women and want to have sex. With women, things depend on a myriad of factors."

In early trials where women were dosed with Viagra while watching erotic videos, the drug appeared to work. But further studies found that even though Viagra induced a greater pelvic blood flow, the women did not feel substantially more aroused. Therefore, Pfizer is now concentrating on finding drugs that affect a woman's brain chemistry.

The fact that the earth only moves for women if they think it does comes as no surprise to many leading female sexologists.

It has long been held in these circles that a women has an emotional libido . The only surprise has been that it has taken many hours of research and thousands of pounds to conclude something that is blindingly obvious...

That's why the whole porn industry is geared towards men and the romance industry towards women! As the old saying goes: girls use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex.

'The One Thing'
So getting back to my original comment, the point is that a girl needs affection, understanding and emotion - after which sex may follow.

However, many girls have a physical relationship hoping to get their core needs fulfilled later. Only to find that doesn't always happen. And when it doesn't, it's extremely hurtful and demeaning.

Because the guy may actually just be scratching his reproductive itch, and have no emotions for her to begin with.

Now you may argue that sex will lead to an emotional bonding. Possible, but dicey. Guys do have a concept of women who they will sleep around or 'have fun' with, and women who 'mean more'. Women for whom they feel something in their brains and not just in their briefs.

Even in more 'liberated' countries, the casual and meaningless sexual encounter may be common but not necessarily fulfilling for the woman. A recent report from the UK reveals that despite the fact that both men and women experience their first intercourse at age 16, there remain gender differences in the experience of the event.

Women are twice as likely as men to regret their first experience of intercourse and three times as likely to report being the less willing partner.

Something to keep in mind before you make your decision...

And finally...
That brings me back to my original bit of advice for females: Make sure your boyfriend respects you and loves you for who you are, not just how you look.

And if I ever have a son I will tell him the same, although in a slightly different way: Make sure your girlfriend is someone you would feel proud enough to bring home and introduce to me.

Someone who makes you feel good - and feels good.
 
The latest research says that men have different sections in the brain for love and lust and women, think about this one-romantic love may not mean great sex. In fact, true love may mean no lust for the man, while scorching sex may have nothing to do with love at all. So the next time your man romances you-think true love, but the next time he tries to get some-it may not be a natural expression of true love! The man who is capable of great sex may not be the greatest love of your life. Poof! For generations scientists have studied the colours of human mating, the hiss and swagger that precede sexual interest, the clandestine courtship phase, the public display. They've left the private experience of falling in love and the different ways that man and woman fall in love and react in love, for analysis by others-mostly to poets.

We know there's an inborn human urge to mate, after all. Love remains a mystery, a promise and an arrow from Cupid's bow, which sometimes tantalizingly and sometimes painfully misses its mark.  

Boys mature later than girls and therefore do not have the emotional complexity required for such relatioinships. In fact, I don't think boys ever mature enough at all, and this is a part of the built in evolutionary mechanism. This is seen in many organisms, and especially in mammals. The purpose of the male of the species is to inseminate as many females as possible. Therefore, emotional attachment to any one female will hinder his chances of propogating his own genes as much as possible. The female on the other hand, finds the male that inseminates the other females most desireable, as this male has some sort of reproductive advantage or the other, and therefore is not at a loss if the female has an emotional attachment.

Actually, I think it is in the brain, because the female 'chooses' the male, in a manner that she gets the best children, so that her genes are propogated. If she chooses the alpha male of the tribe say, then there are less chances of the kids getting killed by a rival male. Also, the fittest genes gets passed on.While this kind of alpha male - and female harem system still exists in a few places, mostly human society thinks that a monogamous society is better for "human" and "moral" values and the general well being of the society, and now every male can find one female to inseminate (thankfully there are not too many proponents of eugenics), BUT the evolutionary mechanism hasn't passed in males.

There is some research going on that the male is injected with substances that makes him more likely to be a doting husband and father. Basically, an injection like viagra, that feminises a guy...

I guess we are all animals, no matter how much we talk about complex emotions and stuff, and God would have made it all simpler if he'd really made us in the first place. First of all, he could have made ONE gender that could inseminate any other or themselves (clonal propagation). someone should research into making this possible...

Till the middle half of the last century victorian modesty was predominant. Now women are getting more and more liberal , specially in western societies and they have come out of the closet sexually as well. Women go to great lengths to make themselves "sexy" (modesty , what ?). Not just in the nightlife but even at work women dress as revealingly as possible without messing with the law. You might object that they are "using sex to get love". There are many counterarguments to this one of the strong ones being spring breaks and females here. Everyone knows what they are for students here... uninhibited sex and booze and party on the beach. Guess what ! there are equal number of females reveling there.

I think there is a big difference in eastern and western thought regarding female sexual attitudes. In India its still pretty much taboo (notwithstanding those racy hollywood dances) and there needs to be a lot of unconditioning before you can actually get to the real feeling/instincts..I would say if girls read MB's and get their libido satisfied then thats porn for them.. For guys MB's dont do it.. and they need explicit images or videos..Regarding guys having the concept of "sleeping around" and "girls who mean more"... its totally correct but then the question is how many guys actually act on the "sleeping around" concept, or even if some decide to act on it how many of them are actually successful and how often.

My observation is, the good looking guys have tons of girls going after them and these girls have a silly belief that they would actually find the true love after they get him. This guy (if he's player) will play around with infinite chicks and finally settle down with one.. and there will be 50 girls who end up butter about men in the whole process. "men are pigs" stereotype.. and at the same time, the rest of the men are fighting to get some action, and their best bet is to fall in love or "arranged marriage" because i doubt they will get a one night stand.. So there you go.. (this is the time when I feel communism is a way to go, equal sharing of resources is the need :-) )

One observation though: for a guy its harder to get out of a messy breakup than it is for a girl.. Guys do crazy things after wards while girls most of times manage much better... wonder why?? and another thing, even girls are extremely shallow in their thinking. Go through some of the postings on dating sites.. they are hilarious..
I mean does she have a concept of reality!! I doubt that if some such person exists.. who has all those attributes..and "loves her like her father" what does that mean anyways?

Here's an example:
" I am a layed back cool girl/woman. I have infinate patience, a sexual being, and am a very soulful and passionate person. I appreciate beauty in every form, and I am honest and trustworthy. I love laughter and that exciting feeling I get from making eye contact with the right person as sparks fly, and that warm fuzzy feeling from skin on skin holding each other later. I am not hard to please or demanding, and I will bend over backwards for those who show me respect. I am a very silly person and I get along with almost any type of person. I am a musical being, it is the language I speak most clearly and dearly. I am looking for someone humble, who has no idea how great he is, who is unique & creative & has passion, & a drive to succeed. Someone who is tender and kind. Someone who is capable of loving me more than himself (which should be reciprocated of course). Someone who respects and cherishes me. Someone who listens, and who'll tell me the truth when I need to hear it. Someone who cares greatly & who has good judgement. Someone who has alot to share with me. Someone who I can trust and who is honest. Someone who makes me feel like I'm floating when I'm with him. Someone who can love & tolerate me and my friends' relationships, which can be silly at times. Someone patient. Someone who'll play with my hair & kisses my neck in the right spot:) Someone who knows their boundaries. Someone who'll know what giving is. Someone who finds nothing wrong with treating me like a godess, but who is not posessive (also reciprocated). Someone who has a unique sexiness. someone who is good in bed :) Someone who is sensitive but not too sensitive. Someone who makes me smile, not unlike a giddy schoolgirl. Someone who'll love me as much as my father does. Someone independant and determined. Someone who won't break my heart. Someone who can appreciate my quirks (don't worry, nothing too bad)."

That's a post with a lot to satisfy the intellect. Yes all that you have written is what the research says. But you know what the problem is? We start intellectualizing things too much.

Its about sex? Is it? Is it about being frank in talking things to your children?

We have all grown up with analysis and that's what we are giving the kids. Many a times what positions love is this analysis and intellectualizing. These are small things you know when you talk about love what is freedom what is individuality what is space? Its like going to God and asking for peanuts. The problem is when you start talking about love you lose love and you get into an endless domain of thoughts. You follow one and you get into another one and it goes on and on, and when it becomes too much you find yourself in a disturbed state, you take sleeping pills and at one point of time you think of committing suicide. That's the biggest tragedy. That may be an extreme but the current generation has felt it more than the elderly have. The reason? too much of  intellectualizing which only takes one away from love. Love is not about saying and talking and thinking those are the results. . . Its about feeling. Love can only be felt and can not be defined can not be expressed. It has to have some more attributes but I think that would be too much. About sex, yes the only purpose is reproduction. The moment you put your faculties in its right use all questions of morals and ethics disappear.

Problem with the modern day beings is that they want too much of everything, I buy a car and I end up driving 3000 kilometers in a month . . why? because of the thrill driving gives me . . That's the problem with everything, we feel attracted and we follow attraction to limits, we have forgotten conservation and this has been happening for ages. Every generation is more addicted to pleasure and happiness you know than its previous generation and thats what corruption is. We are corrupt, all of us and thats what we are passing to the next generation . . generation after generation.

Sorry for the long comments, always get carried away with this topic :-) All those feelings about feminism and what not, and believe me I am not against women.

Case closed.